The Monster Within

0
by Mia

Cancer.
Not the star sign,
but the disease that eats you from the inside.
Like a monster that keeps taking, always wanting more.

Cancer.
Not the relentless overgrowth of cells,
but the type of torture that causes your eyes to swell.
Bearing the pain of the monster eating you alive.

Cancer.
Not the “keep fighting” lines they print on pink ribbon,
but fighting the long and hard war of re-emerging illness.
Wishing that your body didn’t feel the pressure from the constant battle within.

Cancer.
Not the “I know I will die one day” type of mindset,
but the “I know I will die one day and maybe I want to” type of thinking.
No monster wants to eat a lifeless, decaying body.

Cancer.
Not the type of “curable” illness,
but the type you learn to live with.

No, I don’t have cancer.
I’m not a child subject to learning that living comes with the side-effect of dying.

What I do know of is a similar case, yet quite the opposite, with not so big of a name.
Depression – a form of cancer where you embody the side-effect of living.

Plato’s Symposium – Aristophanes The Wound Remembers

1
by Caoimhe Campbell

We are spherical,
Vain
And arrogant;
It took the authority
Of a deity to split us in half.
But we are now empty.
We had once been powerful
Two faces to
Sneer in distaste.
But four arms to
Perhaps feel the warmth of a shared vessel.
Now we search
And yearn
To heal the wound where it pulses and pustules;
There is a maiming of absence,
A hollow ordained for only one shape of longing.
Eros was never futile.
There is still a shape
The wound remembers with each purge of black bile;
We are made to atone
For what had been ripped from us,
And I would like to
Share that amniotic fluid with you once more.

Call Me a Sinner

0
by Anonymous

The sun shines,
but not for me.
I live in a dark world.
Fire burns under my feet.

I’ve skimmed through that sacred book.
I didn’t like what I’d seen.
I believed in something bigger
than what the world allowed me to be.

So call me a sinner.
I’ll rot away my afterlife to make up for what I’ve done.
But at least I lived knowing
I could love who I want.

Memory

0
by Maddison Mckenna

I stand, looking around.

I spot a mug, it looks familiar.

Then a bookshelf, and then a picture.

It’s all so familiar, but from where I can’t decide.

I turn, and things fade.
I don’t remember the
colour of my eyes or the name of my favourite movie.

Cracks in the wall form,
the edges of the room
curve, it gets smaller.

Then I hear a voice, I turn around but no one is there.

“I can’t remember her much,” the voice says.

The books from the
bookshelf fade. The mug cracks
and the picture begins to disappear.

Then I see,
I’m not in this room, but only a mere memory.
Everything starts to fade.

I live in the back of someone’s mind,
they don’t think of me,
I’m not important.

The room fades as I try to escape
but I always come back.

The room turns white,
then I start to glow.

“They’re remembering my
face,” I say as hope grows.

But just like the end of a book, they flip the last
page, and all I am is
just one big memory
that

begins

to

fade

Four Haiku

0
by Elaine Elizabeth Jinto

Insignificant,
In the natural order
Of things, stars say.

Civilizations fell,
Great ideas ridiculed,
Fantasies abandoned.

Just sensing the sea,
Worries ebb with the tide
In soothing splashes.

After the harsh winter,
Small flower peeks out gently,
A peace offering.

This Wish

0
by Sophia Axon

It’s been a while since I last saw your face,
I was hoping you’d come home for Christmas
but it seems your in a rough place.
I’ve been sat here writing letters
but sending them can wait,
and I’m sure you won’t read them till it’s very, very late
It’s Christmas Eve here at home
and the kids are singing your favourite song
It makes them sad to think that you’re still gone
I don’t know where you are but wherever it may be,
I hope it’s nice enough there so you can sit down and breathe,
1 or 2 or 5 or 10, as long as you can rest
till your home again.
The snow is falling as I break this wish bone
and so I hope, for our sake, angels will send you home,
back to me, back to our kids
and back to the home where you should live.

A Drowning Beauty

0
by Sophia Axon

So bold, so blue, so beautiful,
Like a guard, strong and dutiful,
An elegant green-blue translucent sea,
Watching the Sun arise and be,
Yet with all it’s magnificence
And all it’s glory
It’s treated like, why, less than royalty,
As people toss and people throw
Rubbish into the waves below,
The old green-blue translucent sea,
Now lifeless and yellow and certainly not free,
Yet we expect more and more,
Everyday at its shore,
All while our ocean has nothing left to give.

Silent Tears

0
by Abigail Caudle

It is a silent night
A starlit gaze
Everywhere around me
Booming so loud

Can you hear me?
Do you even care?
Or do people only notice
When I disappear?

Dogs barking
Cats that scream
Everything so deafening
So obscene

When I yell
It seems like nobody sees me
But when you cry
Everyone comes rushing

Roses that bloom
Flowers that fall
Goes all around
Every year

Just like me
I can’t help it
Is this what life is like?
Is this what dying is like?

Or is it just me?
Am I the problem?
Soaring so high
Then crashing so low

Questions all around
I am wondering
Curious about the dynamics
Screaming
Trembling
If I die will people like me?

Hope soaring so high
Make my own path
Pushing back
All the thoughts

I don’t blame you
But I am going to leave now
Silent tears
Everyday

This is the end
Goodbye, dear sister
I know
I love you

You are the favorite
So go away now
I will make my own life
Goodbye

(I love you,
Silent tears)

Neurodegeneration In First Person

5
by Hava Omer

The silver tide is rising, a global, greying swell,
As millions move to live within a physiological hell.
The city in the skull – once a vibrant, humming hive,
Now struggles with the chemistry of staying half-alive.
The ‘rubbish collection’ fails, the cellular sweepers tire,
As misfolded proteins set the neural woods on fire.
It is a shared collapse, a failure of the sweeper’s art,
That tears the map of human life and dignity apart.

In Alzheimer’s, I wander through a thick and foggy haze,
Where Beta-amyloid plaques choke my memory’s ancient maze.
Like wet cement in gears, the protein builds its wall,
While Tau tangles inside the cells ensure the structures fall.
My hippocampus shrivels, my history turns to sand,
I’m holding onto ghosts in a fast-eroding land.
The synapses are strangled, the neural pathways frayed,
I am a disappearing act that memory has betrayed.

Then Vascular Dementia strikes a different, darker blow,
Where the rivers of the blood simply find no oxygenated flow.
It’s a plumbing of the spirit, a starvation of the core,
As the oxygenated thoughts retreat
From my brain’s once-fertile shore.
The vessels narrow, brittle, till the circuit starts to break,
A structural collapse for every step I try to take.
Small strokes like silent lightning leave patches of the dark,
Killing off the city’s light, spark by spark.
The memory loss is structural, a crumbling bridge of stone,
I am starving in a palace that I used to call my own.

In frontotemporal halls, feelings of ‘me’ are cleared away,
Though my memory is sharp, my soul has gone astray.
The frontal lobes are withered, where the social filters sit,
And the temporal decay claims my empathy and wit.
The protein builds a grave of who I used to be,
Then builds the very coffin that once defined the ‘me’.
The past is burned, no more ‘he’ or ‘she’.
I am a robot of my own memory.
It is the cruellest theft to keep the facts of who I am,
While the ‘self’ is washed away behind a broken, neural dam.
Welcome to my harsh reality where my mind can still recall the past,
But my ‘will’ and ‘self’ are melting, far too broken now to last.

In Parkinson’s, I’m frozen, though I’m desperate to run,
The alpha-synuclein hides my spirit from the sun.
The dopaminergic spark, the grease that moves the wheel,
Is swallowed by the Lewy stains that turn my limbs to steel.
A mask is on my face, a tremor in my hand,
A statue made of muscle in a shifting, silent land.
The Substantia Nigra pales, the signals die away,
While the tremors of the hand keep the restless world at bay.
A mask is on my face, a statue in a shifting land,
Trapped within a body that won’t follow my command.

Then Motor Neuron Disease leaves the lightning in my head,
While the wires to my body turn to heavy, useless lead.
Oxygen free radicals burn like acid through the cord,
Leaving motor neurons scorched, the physical ignored.
My muscles waste and flicker, while my mind is crystal clear,
Trapped within a digital voice to mask my rising fear.
The TDP- 43 clumps in a dark, molecular crime,
As my muscles waste to nothing in the ticking clock of time.
My mind is a fortress, but my voice has turned to stone,
Reaching through a digital screen to make my presence known.
I am trapped in a digital, robotic breath,
Clinging to a tablet screen in the shadow-lands of death.

Outside the skin, the world begins to feel the heavy strain,
As hospitals are flooded by the mystery of the brain.
A care gap expands before us, a canyon deep and wide,
With no working-age battalion to support the silver tide.
We move from reactive cures to a long and palliated wait,
Using tech to bridge the silence of a dark, neuro-fate.
The economic cost is climbing, a debt we cannot pay,
As the wisdom of the elders simply flickers and fades away.

Ninety-five percent are idiopathic storms,
Unpredictable and cruel in their microscopic forms.
Without biomarkers found, or a cure upon the sea,
We are lost within the protein of our own pathology.
Solving this is not a choice, but a desperate, final must,
Before the future of our world is ground to neural dust.
We search for early warnings, for the light before the dark,
To save the human story from this cold, molecular shark.

Driver’s Seat

2
by Mia

I think it took pressing the gas for the first time to realize I was moving forward.
It took gripping the wheel to realize I’m in control.

I can’t gaze out the window in the back seat like I used to.
My eyes have to stay focused on the road.

But I do miss when I could quietly think to myself,
before steering my life became a responsibility.

When the possibility of death became imaginable.
The view from the front seat is clearer;
you can see all the ugly of the world without the tint.

I miss that old car seat,
that felt like the belts were too tight to my skin.

It felt safe,
even when the material of the seat belt
was rubbing uncomfortably against my neck.

Now I’m where I’ve always dreamed to be.
I’m behind the wheel in the drivers seat.

So why is it so hard to just drive?