I think it took pressing the gas for the first time to realize I was moving forward.
It took gripping the wheel to realize I’m in control.

I can’t gaze out the window in the back seat like I used to.
My eyes have to stay focused on the road.

But I do miss when I could quietly think to myself,
before steering my life became a responsibility.

When the possibility of death became imaginable.
The view from the front seat is clearer;
you can see all the ugly of the world without the tint.

I miss that old car seat,
that felt like the belts were too tight to my skin.

It felt safe,
even when the material of the seat belt
was rubbing uncomfortably against my neck.

Now I’m where I’ve always dreamed to be.
I’m behind the wheel in the drivers seat.

So why is it so hard to just drive?