Teenage

As the boy returned from the village,
The wear in his body was visible.
The bones in him were trembling,
And his bones were weak and feeble.

And once he’d reached his limit,
He’d collapsed as though made of cards.
With his supper flying about,
And his body hitting the ground hard.

His brain trying to retrieve the items,
His body failing to do so.
Him lying on his back,
Too frail to sit up.

As he looks up at the glimmering sky,
At the clouds dancing,
He pictures different shapes and creatures,
“And that one’s like a horse prancing!”

Before he could blink it had already turned night,
And yet he was still enjoying himself,
Lying beneath the stars,
“Those look like… a shelf?”

Hours passed, his body still aching,
His fabric of reality getting folded.
Through the rock and stone,
He’s found the gold.

Some people have strings that pull them down
Like balloons stuck low, they can’t leave now
People laugh if they try to fly
Even though their colours fill the sky

Some hold hands and hate starts
The kind of hate that breaks hearts
They’re told, “Don’t be like that, it’s weird.”
Even though love should always be cheered.

Some have skin that’s not the same,
Some are hated for how they came,
They’re hated and hated because of their shine,
Even though their shine fills the sky.

Someday I hope the strings disappear
And every balloon can cheer and feel no fear
No hate, no laughs, no pulling down
Just colours floating all around.

I’ll always have this
numbness and
emptiness in me.

I’ll never be fully happy,
some part of me will always
be hollow.

Even if it’s a very small part.
My mind doesn’t settle for one thing.
Not completely.

I’ll always have imperfections,
I’ll never be perfect.

I’ll always doubt myself,
even if I get told
I’m more than good enough.

I’ll never settle with a positive
opinion about myself.

I know they aren’t true,
but I’ll never feel like they are.

I’ll never feel worthy
I’ll always stay humble.

I’ll always know,
But I’ll never feel it.

I loved you like the sun loves the sea
I drowned in your golden sparkling waters
The pattern of your tides is engraved onto my soul
I let the water fill me up for the first time
I let the strong current of unspoken love take me.
Warm, and beautiful, and safe, and pure.
Until the sun went in.
The water turned cold
And without warning I was left in a freezing, wild sea that didn’t want me.

Lungfuls of icy water I couldn’t cough up
I was drowning again
But this time
Without you

Riding public transport and conversing, and yet there is nobody.
Sometimes it is the worst feeling ever,
like when your mother comes home and tells
stories about people at work that you
don’t know and don’t care about, that
you want to drown in your emptiness.
The burden of these thoughts weighs
heavy on your mind and yet the
ones you love are the ones who hate you the most.

Your smell still lingers around my apartment, and I
can’t help thinking of you; it slips my mind and I am
again sitting on the floor, helplessly trying
to breathe, to
think of something else, to forget.
Everything keeps coming back to reminders of you.
I turn my light off to sleep unsuccessfully.

We think we have time,
But really we don’t.
Thought I’d see you again at grandma’s,
tell you how much I’ve grown.
Thinking that we still got time on our side.

Sometimes I wonder if I had just stood up
and taken the phone just to say “I love you” one last time.
Would it have made a difference?
“I wonder…Just an I love you, get better soon.
Would it have made you fight longer?”
I carry that thought with me each day.

Why can’t I forgive myself for what I did that day .
The day I saw you in that casket, I thought “that isn’t you!”
I cried to my mom “what happened? I don’t know him.”
It had seemed like it was a joke but it wasn’t.
I wish it was though.

It would be a Blessing just to even hear your voice.
Time makes it seem like I would never lose you. But I did
Creates an illusion that we still have it on our side but we don’t.
Time is a silent thief and the funniest part is we never see it coming.

Chef is the best
Queen Barb is my favourite
Queen Creek and the Beasties are boring
and Velvet and Veneer are so cute!

Noche buena with an endless bright
Oh starry night, carrying a light
Our love for each other with all our might
Everything is gonna be alright

The birth of Christ is so important
So this celebration is vibrant
Designs at home, are done elegantly
Has banquet too, which is so pleasant

Music in the air which is lovely
As the people dance so lively
Everyone is laughing so purely
So dance like you’re a bird so freely

I learned a lot of things from this year
Simple things, and family is near
Hearing beautiful words in my ears
Oh something’s in my eye, they are tears

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Imagination never dies.
Avatars with style and flair,
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In Roblox, we are free to sway.
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