I’m tired of acting strong,
My soul hurts,
My heart is lost,
My mind is gone
I’ve lost myself.
My shadow drags heavier than my body,
as if Earth knows itself,
I don’t belong.
The silence is pounding in my head,
walls closing in.
Every breath feels borrowed,
like air was never meant for me.
Would absence be louder than my voice?
If my chair was empty?
My fake laugh was missing?
The little things that made me?
Gone.
Disappeared Forever.
As I sit here,
My body mixed with sand and the sea,
How I wish I could see
The liquid sunset in your eyes
To see the corner of your eyes crinkle when you smile,
To see your hair dancing in this breeze,
To hear your voice through these waves
Oh my love,
Come back and find me,
Drenched under this pale moonlight,
Before I dissolve
Into the emptiness before me
Find me before
The sea tastes like you and me
no matter what happens,
it’s always her.
she’s there through my
platonic breakups,
romantic breakups,
emotional breakdowns,
when I’m overwhelmed
and the nights I cry myself to sleep.
she’s there
every
single
time.
that’s why it’s always her.
but you know..
things change.
*people change*.
so maybe it’s not always her.
at least not anymore,
not the way it once was.
she’s not there anymore.
but honestly?
nor am I.
and I’m trying to move on
from her.
and I think I’m almost there.
As the light shines in the day,
Darkness falls away
The light causes glee,
But darkness stays with me
The light comes astray,
And dawn falls to day.
As the Light fades away,
The darkness will stay.
For nothing keeps shining
Like a star losing lighting,
When darkness comes astray,
The light shall fall away.
Into the night, the light will stay
In the dark, the darkness will play.
For nothing good can stay
As the darkness will never fall away.
But in all the times when you want to flee,
There will come a time for glee
As light will rise and sway
When the day sets away.
Hurting something nobody sees me doing Hurting is something I didn’t realise I was doing for a long time till I locked myself up in a room and turned off all the lights, shut the blinds and sat in the dark room
Hurting is something I didn’t realise i was doing till I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore and smile to where I couldn’t look at a lighter anymore and think of it as a tool to light a candle
Hurting is something we all do but don’t realise it
she is the fire in my heart
that re-lit from ashes
left by a flame long ago extinguished
she is the glimmer in my smile
the only one who can make me feel so whole,
but she can smash me to pieces just as easily
she is the shine in my eyes
though whether it’s from satisfaction or sadness
is up to her to decide
she’s an ever changing zigzagged line
i am the constant.
we only ever meet once in a blue moon
i can’t help but look at her skin
once clean, and full of life.
now it’s lost all its colour
covered in a thick layer of dust.
nobody has taken any care.
there are few who notice her changes,
and though those few try to communicate it
all they see is something fake,
an unrealistic cry for attention that simply isn’t needed.
she’s still beautiful. she’s not going to change.
or so they say.
i watch as she melts out of shape.
i see the smoke from their cigarettes curl around her,
turning her grey, slowly, slowly, but surely.
can’t they see she can’t move?
she’ll only get sicker and sicker.
who is to blame but the ones who made her this way?
it feels like you can’t ever be quite close enough
for it to satisfy me
my mind, my skin, my heart,
are all simply unfulfilled.
the fantasy of being in love, of being loved
is really *lovely* as an idea
so why is it that the translation
of my hopes and thoughts to reality
always get turned to terror?
maybe if two souls could merge
i would feel complete
but that is not possible, so i will wait
for something… real
as real as this life can be
The winds blow up on my face;
My heart just started to race.
I looked outside the window;
But couldn’t find my shadow.
The clouds were moving with the wind blowing;
The seeds of happiness were sowing.
The curtains were open wide;
With a new adventure beginning in my life side.
The silence was all over in the place;
My mind open like the infinite space.
My future was all in my brain;
Just like the flowing water in the rain.