Teenage

It wouldn’t be that loud,
No drama nor frustration,
If it was up to them the world would be a vacuum.
Not a space with no sound,
Rather one with a raging scream,
luring you to switch it off.

But why would you?

Why invite the sound?
Why send the silence away?
Why why why…

It wouldn’t be “that” loud they said,
but how could they speak if silence had the gavel?
Hitting hard to gain order,
but no one hears that bang,
that wallop, that smack,
that train on the track.

A silent devil sat in his seat,
unwilling to admit defeat.
Would you listen, if silence were to speak?

hope is the thing with feathers
it’s the thing that carries joy
hope keeps families together
it holds happiness
but hope is the thing with knives
it’s the thing that can hurt more than having none at all
hope kills joy
and it breeds disappointment

disappointment has many colours
disappointment is pink
disappointment is blue or green
like all the things that you can’t see
disappointment is black
like the bad memories you can’t take back

regret wears many capes
regret wears horns and holds a pitchforked staff
regret wears a red suit and makes you hate
regret hurts your lungs and stops your laughs
like when something funny turns into something sad

Some nights the silence screams too loud,
Thoughts like thunder, hopes unbowed.
A weight that presses on the chest,
A mind that will not let her rest.

The mirror shows a tired face,
A soul that longs to leave this place.
Not for drama, not for show –
Just tired of the undertow.

She wonders if the pain will end,
If peace will come, if hearts can mend.
The world feels far, too cold to hold,
And everything feels grey and old.

But still – there’s breath. Theres one more dawn,
A bird still sings; the sky moves on.
A message pops, a voice replies,
A flicker of light in stormy skies.

Not all who break are meant to fall,
Some bend and rise above it all.
So hold on tight, just one more day –
Even the night can find its way.

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard
I told you so
Ladies and gentlemen save your words
It’s a waste I know.
But I don’t regret a single moment of him
He was what I needed
What I wanted
He was an experience and a lesson.
These points have been made so clear
I don’t need a reminder
and I’d hate for your limitless words to be wasted.

The road I took
I chose not to rush into my Ranga Pravesham
Not because I fear the stage,
But because I wanted it to be a moment,
I could hold with pride, not one and look back and regret,
I chose to wait until my dance pleased me
Until every movement felt like my truth, not just tradition,
Until every moment reflected the dancer I wanted to be,
not just the one others expect to see
I chose to wait until I had learnt all I had to
Until every step held meaning,
and every movement was understood, not memorised
I didn’t turn away from the spotlight.
I just chose to wait for it to earn it to let it fall
on the right version of me, the patient
and your discipline, one I love that grew far from applause
I chose to complete my Visharada exams
And have earned the right to teach, but my age stands between me and a salary
To science in the morning to steps in the evening.
I chose both timetables and Talas
because only in that Balance could I truly dance
Still, I chose this path to become the dancer.
I dreamt of not rushed, not reduced
And like the poet, I took the road less travelled,
and that has made all the difference

Sister’s relationship is weird
I hate her, and love her at the same time
Seeing her smile, makes me mad and happy at the same time
Tempting to not annoy each other,
Eager to fart on her pillow,
Reality of having is a sister is hatred but secretly you know you love each other.

social media destroys life,
destroys people,
destroys how you see your self

I see my little sister compare herself to people online,
Hurts me,
BECAUSE it’s not real,
Its all edited and fake.

We will all die someday,
Life is too short to compare yourself to some girl online.

Everyone is pretty the way they are.
So don’t compare yourself.
It will destroy you.

You cut and cut until there is nothing left,
skin like paper, torn —
as if pain could bleed out the silence,
as if your arms could carry
what your mouth never says.

I see the jump in your shoulders
when someone laughs too loud.
The way you shrink at questions,
like the wrong word
might shatter you.

You wrote on your status:
“give in or end everything
I can’t do either
but I need to do one.”
I stared at the words like they were a countdown,
like the final click of a ticking clock. Like you’d already chosen one.

I wanted to type are you okay?
But that felt too small.
So instead I ask:

Are you eating?
Are you sleeping?
Do you cry when nobody’s seeing?

Because I see you.

I see you
even when you try to vanish into your blazer,
even when your smile is stitched with threads too thin.
I see the way you flinch
when someone mentions love
like it’s a joke
you were never invited to laugh at.

You are not a burden.
You are not too much.
You are not the problem.

You are you.
And I need you here.
Even if you don’t believe that yet.

There is a place
I found a place
I stayed for a while in that place
It made me feel safe
Thinking I found my place
Every day and night I stay in my place
Named it My Space
People start to stay in my place I called My Space
I don’t feel safe
I have to find another place
To call My Place, feel safe and have my own space

i hate it when u get angry
i hate it when u lie
i hate it when ur cranky
i hate it when u sigh
i hate it when u don’t care
and make me feel sad
i hate it when you stare at me
and make me feel mad
i want u to care
even more than i do
i want u to show up
and stop me feeling blue
when i look at u i feel guilty
as if it’s all my fault
others feel pity
as i sit there and sulk
you had a choice
and you made it clear
you wanted her
and left us with a tear
sometimes i wish it could be different
sometimes i wish u stayed
sometimes i wish u tried harder
but instead our bond fades
you try to turn it on me
and say it’s me to blame
which makes me feel empathy
which is ur aim
i’m sick of giving you what you want
and the reactions you see
my trust is now locked
and i’m throwing away the key
i gave you chances
and there is no more
cos trying to talk to you
feels like an endless chore
i always get jealous
seeing people with their dad
wishing that could be me
but instead i’m left sad
maybe it’s for the best
maybe it’s not meant to be
but i won’t forgive u
for the hurt you still give me