Dear owner,
It’s your pen here.
I have something to say,
And I think it’s quite sincere.
I don’t like being chewed.
Your teeth are rather hard.
I request that you stop, it’s kind of ew,
And keep your mouth afar.
You write with me,
Far to much!
Don’t you have your phone?
I thought you had his number?
Or did he leave you alone?
I don’t want to write this mush,
That’s music to your ears,
Because as much as it sounds ‘lush’,
It’s disgusting to your peers.
I’ve seen you have other pens,
Or am I just special?
Why don’t you just use them?
Now my ink can’t settle.
You waste my time a lot,
My nib is always on the page,
Write something! Not just a dot!
And now I’ll expect a wage.

Signed,
Your rather unhappy and openly rude pen 🙂