Christmas Eve is a happy time
Kids running and jumping around
Waiting for presents on Christmas day
Put out a mince pie for Santa
Some reindeer food for Rudolph
Sadly though, not the other reindeers
Well you know, it doesn’t really matter
All that ‘reindeer food’ is….
I don’t mean to be a scrooge
Or anything like that
But reindeer food is just glitter and oats
Which makes the reindeer fat
One Christmas Eve they landed on a street
A street that held a competition
To see who could buy the most lights
They landed on the roof of the winner
Layered with lights that night
A runway was cleared the week before
For Santa and his sleigh
So they could deliver the presents
Ready for Christmas Day
Santa said to Rudolph
“Please don’t run away.”
He jumped down into the chimney
Far, far away
Something quite odd happens
When the word ‘don’t’ is said
You really want to do that thing
It messes with your head
Or in Rudolph’s case
It messes with his antlers
Rudolph charged like lightning
Majestically, he flew off the roof
At least, that was the image in his head
This is what really happened:
He ran to the edge of runway
Ready to take off for flight
Reaching the stars on that festive night
But the stars remained a long way away
And Rudolph got a fright
His antlers had gotten tangled
In all the flashing lights
The other reindeers began to panic
Santa would be EXTREMELY mad
They tried cutting the lights
Started a fire
Bashing his antlers on houses
Crumbled a lot of walls
Blixen even tried to untie them
Obviously, that idea was crazy
Since reindeers don’t have thumbs
If you think about it, thumbs are the only reason that humans rule the world
Santa was heard thudding back up the chimney
And the reindeers all hung their heads in shame
When Santa asked who’s fault it was
Comet gave Rudolph the blame
Santa gave Rudolph a good telling off
Then called Mrs Claus on his phone
She has very nimble fingers you know
Mrs Claus arrived in a jiffy
And untied the gigantic knot
They all sped away in Santa’s sleigh
Knowing they would be pursued
The whole street was wrecked, thanks to them
Back in the North Pole feeling comfy
They heard a knock on the door
Police were stood outside
This is what they said:
“We are here for you and the reindeer
For the damage you caused on Christmas night.”
So Santa squished in the police car
With Rudolph and Blixen and more
They were taken away
For six months and a day
For the crime they accidentally committed
Six boring months stuck in a cell
With eight reindeers and a woman called Tess
She was in for stealing a beautiful dress
So Santa and Rudolph are no longer friends
And none of it would have happened
If Rudolph had just behaved
Or if Santa had not said ‘don’t’
So if you don’t want to end up in prison
Please just follow this rule
If you’re in dismay
Then don’t disobey
Santa and his golden rules
And if you do then Tess might come
In the black of night and steal you’re beautiful dress:):):)