Before I truly start this poem
I would like to say a big friendly hello
To all my fellow junk food lovers
If you don’t like junk food and eat veg instead
Then I will still greet you
But with quite a lot of reluctance because
Who doesn’t like the following?
A deliciously sugary chocolate cake
Yummy brownies that you bake
Burgers too large to fit in your gob
Melted cheese on top of a cob
Sprinkle-topped doughnuts oozing with jam
An ice cream sundae made by someone called Pam
Microwaveable popcorn that puffs out then pops
Chuppa-chuppa lollies that come out tops
Savoury salt-layered crinkly crisps
Cherry-topped mousse served on elegant ships
Pepperoni covered pizza melting with cheese
Hot chocolate and marshmallows made from powder with ease
Now I don’t mean to frighten any children
Or make parents cross
But you, um, how can I put this?
When you become an adult
You turn into a sort of vegetable zombie
I will list the signs of a vegetable zombie right here
You will often hear them say things like this:
Try a salad!
How about some fruit?
Now whatever you do, do NOT listen to them
They are completely and utterly without a doubt in the world…
EVIL
That’s right, even your sweet little mummy and daddy
Have a horrible and healthy dark side underneath that sugary shell
So if I were you and your parents are veg zombies
Then I would run to a remote island in the middle of the sea
Find a cave and make it my home
In fact, that is exactly what I have already done
Just think of it like a tropical, luxury escape
I mean, it kind of is if you change the tropical part
To rainy and isolated from the rest of civilisation
And luxury to maybe middle/lower/what has my life come to:(!?class
And the escape part is bang on!
Who am I kidding?
Never run away from home
Your veg zombie parents will just stop if you threaten to run away
Sorry about that super long wait
I was sailing back home after that extremely emotional moment
I kind of miss my little cave, so many good memories…
Anyway! Back to the lesson and the boring stuff
So the lesson here is:
Never run away from home or do something stupid like that
Because deep down
Your parents will always love you and you will always love them
(Even if they are crazy zombies who might eat your brain);)