I’m an awfully quiet person,
And I live in a household of 8 (pets included.)
I’ve not been feeling great recently
And it’s putting me in the wrong headspace.
I have horrible thoughts,
I won’t deny,
But I have my friends by my side,
And to me, that is enough,
Because life really is tough.
When she breathes loudly
When she chews loudly
When she snores loudly
When the noises are too loud
It’s all because of her
I feel angry, I feel like I want to hurt someone
I feel like I want to cry
I run away
And it’s all because of her
Speak up when you know something is not right
News reporter Morse over here
Twenty five murder cases all over United States
Why all of these murders ?
Why in the US?
Why 25?
Why, why, why?
Is the question spread in the town, Alaska and it people
But it isn’t just them, New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco,
Las Vegas, Chicago, Miami, and whatnot!
Although we perch here with one thought in our minds
What happened to our loved ones ?
Well worry no more!
Detective Morse is here! To solve the crime that no one else can
Let’s get freedom today, tonight, any time, but let’s do it
I held my newly decorated candy cane stick and went off unknown
My disguise, huh don’t even talk about it.
Well it was a middle aged man wanting to please his children
So dressed like Santa to get the turkey for dinner
And not to be surprised it worked, partially –
Except for the kids excepting gifts from me as they put their arms spread into the wide open air
But it was now time to figure out the culprits of this year’s Christmas madness
The Grinch was top priority by the town, although it isn’t up for them to prove or decide
The duty is all on me and only me
Up the hills I went, down the valleys I go
No trace of green fur throughout the borders of Alaska
But little did I know what those long lines meant
I travelled my way to the mountain where Grinch lives
I had to know my guess was a miss
I didn’t though so I went fro
I got to know I was wrong
a question cracked in my head
Is the Krampus the master mind behind the crime?
I was flabbergasted at my foolish mistake
Those long lines were his nails
I scratched my head, pondering how I was going to catch the monster
An evil thought occurred
I was wondering would it be absurd if
I was the new Krampus taking his role?
Furious about who took his job ever so sure
I put on a body suit covered it with black feathers
And the long nails from last Halloween came to work
With a little fixing with my hand I made it go as planned
So I went to St.Nicholas the greatest of all
And I said, “May I be the Krampus of the holiday?”
“I’ll be the best one yet and they will know me as the wicked creature.”
Yes! I got the job and the location of the gruesome Krampus
So I evict him from his job of taking heartfelt humans
It will be better If I go now or the truth may never come out
Hello old Krampus you may leave now no worth of growling
I’m in charge now ha ha
Where are the children? Tell me now or I will kick you out
Not from your job out of the world
Krampus said, “Yes master.”
Perfect as I planned, now just have to take those whimpering kids
And fly away from the North Pole
Mission three hundred and one successful
Santa checks how much he weighs,
Before he gets on his sleigh,
While I do essays,
and wait for Santa for days.
Everyone knows Rudolph the reindeer,
His nose is a big, red sphere.
The reindeer can go up to the atmosphere.
Did you know they live in the northern hemisphere?
What I want for my Christmas gift,
is a toy car that can drift.
I also want something that can lift,
like a big, heavy forklift.
Christmas is a wonderful time of the year,
from gifts to elves to reindeers.
So go grab water or beer
and relax and chill on the pier.
One Christmas Morning,
Santa gave vegetables to children
Instead of brightly coloured gifts.
The children asked Santa
“Why are you giving us vegetables,
Instead of gifts?”
First, the children thought that Santa was
Wearing sunglasses to make Christmas different,
But later, they realized,
Santa was blind!
The children wanted to help Santa out
So they gave gifts to different houses,
They sat on Santa’s sleigh,
The vegetables were sweet and sour,
And of different colours!
Santa said,
“Vegetables are healthy,
So, they’re the best gift”
The reindeers turned into horses,
Santa gave out sour vegetables instead of new gifts and toys,
The Christmas tree was as tiny as a safety pin,
And glowed in the dark.
Santa came on Diwali instead of Christmas,
Elves weren’t even real
Rudolf the reindeer’s nose’s magic fizzled away,
The Christmas tree grew candy canes instead of leaves,
Santa wore black clothes instead of red clothes,
Christmas was so different this year!
I once had a friend that I only saw in the dark
My friend was known as…
Big green
SCARY
But all of this was fake
One night I came to see “ BIG GREEN SCARY “
But he was not there
So I called and called
But friend did not come
So I’ve been doing some research
And…
And…
I found out…
I WAS FRIENDS with a MONSTER!
If animals entered my school
They would probably eat our notebooks
And they would cause a ruckus and mess up our whole class
Then they would go to the cafeteria and eat all of our food
And start to attack us students and teachers
They would probably explore our school
Terrorizing students and teachers
They would start to ram and break various important things
If any animal approaches me I would run for life
I would run at godspeed and ram into any object with no regret
Just get out of any deadly animal’s sight.
I hear it.
Here and there
I hear it.
With its odd brown fur, dark and light
So full of lies and corruption
To take the young and corrupt them
‘Slaves and children, what’s the difference?’
To it, a job, to them a loss.
Moving its chains, scraping the floor
Coming to take a baby boy.
It’s hideous features hiding,
With its hooves clattering together,
Its heavy breathe after a step,
The huffs and puffs of a monster,
The rubble of coal rummaging
Clank clank clanking every step
Coming to take a baby boy.
I hear it
Here and now
I hear it.
And it’s come to take my baby boy away.
Oh, the joy in Christmas,
Everyone can enjoy, no need to rage or fuss!
Oh, how snowy the mountains get,
We have cookies to bake and decorations to set!
Oh, the merry chants in the streets,
Santa gives good kids candies and treats!
Oh, the merry songs we sing,
during Christmas, anger and hate is not a thing!
Oh, how everyone enjoys,
parents playing with their energetic boys!
Oh, if you stay up all night,
you’ll see Santa’s eaten your cookies and milk in delight!
Oh, how Rudolph flies in the sky,
you should sit on his sleigh, give it a try!
Oh, we all love Christmas,
Christmas is the best time for all of us!