Poems

I went to Jupiter in bits of paper,
in bits of paper I did;
all I had was a colander and a fish tank with a lid.
In one hand, a notebook,
in another, a little chestnut chicken that says cluck!
Then I sat outside in the garden, waiting for some luck!

I went to Jupiter in bits of paper,
in bits of paper I did;
all I had was a colander and a fish tank with a lid…
Soon I was up in the dark night sky,
“Cripes! I hope I don’t die,
it’s so high! Oh my!
I sure do hope that I don’t die!”

I went to Jupiter in bits of paper,
in bits of paper I did,
all I had was a colander and a fish tank with a lid.
In a few more long and boring hours,
I had claimed Jupiter ours!
Then I sung my little ditty,
though it may sound rather silly:
“I went to Jupiter in an aero-oh wait!…
I went to Jupiter in bits of paper,
in bits of paper I did;
all I had was a colander and a fish tank with a lid!”
There. That’s better
Anyway;
It took three hours and a day,
to get back home to sweet, sweet Norway!
It took three hours and a day,
My mum didn’t even notice I was away!
I went to Jupiter in bits of paper,
in bits of paper I did;
all I had was a colander and a fish tank with a lid!

It was pure
It was clear
It was clean
The (late) Ganga
It was used to
Get rid of problems
Today it is used
To dispose waste
To spread disease
It was the best river
It is the worst river
The (late) Ganga

Simon has a dream,
To move to the seaside and sell ice cream
When Simon gets there, he won’t have a care
Because he’ll make lots of money
And the weather will always be sunny!

Why did they ever invent such a tale
that went out for sale!
of little Red Riding Hood and the grotesque fox
who soon got his tail chopped on a wooden box!

But the real story could change the mood of a child in bed
who will soon fear, tremble and sweat
Have you ever read the blood curling tale
of little Red Riding Hood who went to jail?

So one evening
she began to ring
her friend Carl
who always growl and snarl
and the repulsive pair
sneaked into the bedroom of the Mayor

They scoured and slotted precious jewels
until there was no time to lose
The Mayor woke up from deep night sleep
and began to go tweet tweet

Those barmy brutes accidentally left
a trail of leaking paint cans
so the Mayor followed their tracks
to her house in the pitch black

Now when their deed was known
to those in Melbourne
she was flung behind the bar
leaving her dear mother like an empty jar

so you must never never follow the teachings

of this mischievous brat

that can spoil your existence like that.

(inspired by Roald Dhal)

Does a spider nap or sleep?
Or do they carry on the creep?
When it’s dusk. When it’s dawn. Does a spider even yawn?
In the web cosy and snug, do they ever need a rug?
The spider settles down to rest, just when the time is at it’s best.

Do they get told stories from small, silk books?
Or do they play sports with sticky, web balls?
Do they play hide and seek, with a spider hider?
Or do they have friends like woodlice and flies?

They crawl around in the corner. In the deep, dark corner.
All alone until a friend comes.
Then the spider eats it up. And then says “yum, yum!”.

Wake up
Get dressed
Eat breakfast
Brush teeth
Do my hair
Pick up my phone
Get dinner money
Pack bag
Walk to school
Put away my bag
Do lessons
Eat lunch
Do PE
Get my bag
Walk home
Get changed
Watch TV
Practise sports
Eat dinner
Feed guinea pig
Play games
Get changed
Eat a cookie
Watch TV
Brush teeth
Get into bed
Sleep
REPEAT!

My school is as fun as a park

My school is as fun as a theme park!

My school is the best.

My school is funny as a sneezing baby panda.

My school is the BEST!