O little town of Abingdon
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
Santa’s sleigh comes creeping by
Yet in the dark streets shineth
The everlasting excitement
The hopes and ambitions of Christmas time
Are met in thee tonight

For Santa is born of who actually knows
And gathered by no-one we speak of
While children sleep, the elves look out
For immoral children stealing undeserved presents
O morning mince pies mysteriously gone
Proclaim the jolly celebration
And carol singers sing for hope that their repulsive kids
Will learn a valuable lesson (provided it’s before Santa arrives)

How silently, how silently
Santa descends right from the chimney
So the kids freak out and finally go to sleep
And dream of a perfect Christmas (in case they don’t get one)
No ear may hear his coming
But in this world of sin
Where naughty kids will receive him still
Though Santa enters in

O demanding child of Abingdon
Shall receive an unwanted present
Cast out your voice and criticise the rules
If all you want coal in a bucket
We hear the Christmas sleigh bells
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, celebrate with us
Our “slave”, Father Christmas