He whispers whilst traipsing
Through the empty halls
Revealed by the moonlight
Echoing his calls.
His voice is silent
His heart in despair
Nobody would listen
No one would care
People think he’s terror
Spook and creep
He has no friends
He’s really just weak
He carries on meandering
Through the dark and grim
He approaches a corner
And begins to curl in.
I have no friends!
I’m all alone!
And for hours and hours,
He weeps and groans.
Everyone has a friend, he sobs,
But I do not!
So here I shall stay
And here I shall rot
I like it, Zariya. Good work. When you edit a poem – one thing that it’s usually good to do is to cut out unwanted words. Which is what I’ve done with your poem. Think of the beat of the poem when you read it aloud. Speech marks are okay, but I’ve put the ghost’s words in italics. I’ve also removed your commas. You only need them if the meaning needs making clear. Just a few tips for you.
Inspirational comments Mr Roger..nice poem.
Thanks for the comment
Well done. Very intricate in your thoughts
Excellent imagination. Poor ghost!!well done Zariya.
Thank you Roger for the tips and help, I’m super grateful.
I will make sure follow your tips in my next poem!
Well done Zariya