are you okay?

when she asked I wanted to say
no
no I’m not

one by one my friends dropped
day by day my life became optional
lesson by lesson i would be more quiet
breath by breath the air felt more toxic
thought by thought I became more negative
night by night I shed more tears
outfit by outfit I felt more judged
touch by touch I was more weak
meal by meal I felt more alone
teacher by teacher I felt more brainless
blink by blink I shifted to seeing the bad in people

I said
yes
yes
I’m fine

word by word this became harder to write