Teenage

Dog
Blue Heeler
guards our family
beautiful, listens, soft fur
Blue Heeler

Sadness, sadness were are you
Are you over here
or over there
Way up here
Or way down there
Sadness I found you
I understand
Sadness is me

Hello darkness my old friend…

My boat of joy capsized and sank
As fear sailed triumphantly through the night
A shroud of terror engulfed my soul
My dreams were corrupted by nightmares of death and destruction

Anger crept up on me
The devil found its place in my heart
Aggression finally conquered my happiness
As the desire for vengeance consumed me

I walk along the Turkey’s Bodrum Beach
A child’s lifeless body, frozen, silent
Eyes closed, all his tiny limbs limp and weak
Once a family’s child and vibrant

Red shirt, blue shorts calmly swept by the shore
The child is so innocent and fragile
Ghastly pictures taken, victims of war
Once smiling, running freely and agile

I see his dead brother not far away
No lifejackets, nothing to help them float
Drowned bodies piling, turning to ash grey
One by one, slowly fallen from a boat

Many people endure conflict each day
Deaths, dramas, despair, change must start today

Inside there is a girl
A girl screaming and crying
Outside there is a girl
Happy, never without a smile

The girl on the inside
That girl is real, she can’t be seen
The girl outside is fake
She is an illusion, no, she’s not happy

There is so much pressure on the girl
She just can’t handle it
She hates her life
She hates herself

The girl on the outside would never let it show
How much she was hurting
No matter how bad it was
She couldn’t show it

She was torn away from all she knew
Her friends
But luckily she has an anchor
So she won’t float away to her dark abyss

Nobody sees the girl inside
Not even her anchor
She has to be strong
But every now and then
She can’t be controlled and slips away

When the girl inside gets away
She is hard to contain
She is the real one
Not the girl outside

The girl outside is as fake as they come
Always happy and smiling
All honors classes, not failing at all
But that’s not real in slightest way

The girl inside is almost never happy
She is crying, screaming, tearing to get out
She has all honors and is failing them all
She doesn’t care

Sometimes she even considers
An eternal good-bye
She figures it would be easier
For her and everyone

But she couldn’t leave her
She couldn’t leave her anchor
She has to keep pushing through

Don’t let her show
Just because her anchor needs her
Her anchor need her, she thinks
Just as much as she needs her anchor

So she keep holding on
Holding on to her sliver of joy
The joy from her anchor
The joy she gets from her church

The joy she finds in the little things
Like picking a pumpkin for fall
Or going to homecoming, her freshman year
Or even just watching a movie with her parents

So she holds on with all she got
She holds on to her joy
Her friends
Her parents

Her favorite things
And she will pull through
And she will make it
And she will come out stronger than ever

Because she can!
She has to.

Since I left primary school,
Things have got worse and worse,
Like I’m under a big curse,
But let me tell you one thing,
The real Daniella is still here,
Just waiting to be found,
The old me never seemed to stick around,
From this day on,
The real me will return,
For all I can do is learn,
My path is ready for me,
Wherever it may be,
I will achieve in life,
You’ll see!

Children play without an ounce of imagination
In this world, two or three
Have an imagination

These people do not cry
Nor do the shy from conversation

These people are our leaders
They are the chosen
They are hope

No matter how many times I count to 10
my anger possesses me, controls my head
I can hold my breath and squish an “anger” ball
but it won’t stop my furiousity continuing to rule….

No matter how many bruises my knuckles will take
when I’m angry, I’m angry, I’m full in rage
I can close my eyes and start wishful thinking
But that doesn’t stop my happiness from sinking

I just need help with my anger