Teenage

Everything I write here is real,
things should be real,
because otherwise people wish their lives away.
I have been betrayed and heartbroken
and have been a heart breaker.
I’m not an over achiever,
I’m an underachiever,
nobody believes in me and I don’t believe in myself.

Thank you can be interpreted in many ways,
Like thank you for doing this.
Or thank you for destroying my life.
Here are my thanks.

Thanks mom and dad for making my life the best it can be.
You always put me first and always.
You care for me and love me.
This is my thanks to you.

Thank you to my Teachers.
For always educating me.
You make me excited to learn new lessons.
I’m glad I can open to you all too.
So thank you teachers.

Thank you friends for all you do.
You help me through all my drama.
You always made me happy when I’m sad.
Thank you.

Thank you to my siblings.
You were there for me and made me happy.
We played games and had fun.
We have many jokes.
Can’t forget about Jake’s unibrow.
Thanks Liv for always making me stronger.
You have helped me through a lot.
Thank you guys.

Thank you both of my step-parents.
You guys are truly amazing and the best things that popped into my life.
I enjoy my times with all of you.
Thank you.

Thank you Meghan for being there.
You have supported me non-stop.
You helped me so much.
We have the best jokes ever.
You are the best thing that came into my life.
Matching One Direction bags.
I love you Meggy.
Thanks for being there.

Thank you Charlie for being in my life.
You have made so many puppy friends.
You make me smile and giggle.
I can just look at you and smile.
I love when you cuddle with me too.
I love you Charlie.
Thank you.

Those are all my thanks for right now.
You have all made my life the best.
You all put the best for me.
I love you all.
Thank you all.

I wish all the negativities would go away.
I wish gay hatred would go away.
I wish being differerent was okay.
I wish everyone could acept themself.
I wish people could stop dying.
I wish kids had soap.
I wish that our world could freeze and rewind
I wish our world could be a better place.
I wish that my problems would go away,
When I throw my penny into the fountain.
But unfortunately, they don’t.
So here I lay thinking about all my wishes,
That will maybe, just maybe go away.

I put my trust in you.
I told you my secrets.
I depended on you to keep quiet.
I told you my life,
Every detail.
And what did you do?
You shared them.

I had faith in you.
I thought we could be the best of friends.
I thought you could keep quiet.
I thought I could trust you.
But it turns out I’m wrong.
I am now an embarrassment,
Thanks to you, my “friend.”

This bubble surrounds me,
It won’t let me go.
It suffocates me.
It won’t let me free.

I gasp for air,
Cry for help,
But no one yet comes.
So here am I lying still,
While everyone is having fun,
I’m stuck in my bubble.

I use my hands to pop this thing.
But it won’t let me out.
It stretches even more,
With all of these thoughts,
“You’re fat and gross”.

So here I am,
Trapped still in this big bubble,
With a balloon of hatred,
And finally I try to take my last breath,
But now I lay on the deathbed.

A porcelain cup,
Slender-handled,
Filled to the brim,
It boils,
Curling wafts of fragrance,
Emerge,
Teetering on the edge,
Of a turquoise tray,
Yet, the maid walks faster,
Her slippers slap against,
Her scorched heels,
Her veil flutters,
Her ankles tinkle,
Panicking guards quivering,
Yet, the dauntless maid,
Strides on,
For she holds the Queen’s evening tea,
The mingled fragrance,
Of cardamom and ginger,
She relishes the alcoholic scent,
Halts before the Queen’s chamber,
Knocking,
The guard’s make way,
As the maid lowers her eyes,
The Queen breathes in,
The fragrance of her tea,
And smiles,
For the saucer is decked,
In creamy rose petals,
The ethereal shades,
Bedazzle her,
She thinks of her rose garden,
Swaying flowers,
As the dew gushes down,
Beautiful roses,
So fragile and brittle,
Yet their thorns,
So petrifying,
She sips,
As ecstasy gurgles through her,
Ripples of joy,
Rush up her spine,
Yet,
Her eyes bulge in horror,
As she spits out-
Her short lived ecstasy,
For even though her saucer,
Is decked in tear shaped petals,
Of creamy color,
There is a thorn,
Bobbing up and down,
In her steaming tea,
Yet, the maid pats her back,
Coaxes her, and tells her,
There is no thorn
In her tea!
An illusion of roses,
Gliding around her,
Has led her to believe-
That there was a thorn,
A treacherous thorn,
Twinkling in her tea

Your future is not my future.
And my future isn’t your future.
His future isn’t my future.
Her future isn’t my future.

A future is what you make,
Not how smart you are.
A future is where you make it,
Like, if you drop out of High School, where is that going to take you?
Or if you do drugs, where will that take you?

If your future is doing drugs,
Then it isn’t my future.
If you are going to jail,
That’s not my future.
Your future is not my future.

If you want kids and a husband,
Then we both want a similar future.
But if you are going to not love them,
My future is not your future.

We all want a good future,
But sometimes,
Your future is not my future.
And my future isn’t your future.

When I’m upset I think mean,
Like for example,
What should I do for vengance?
But then, this cloud of questions and statements come,
And tells me what to do.

When I know something triggers me,
I know I seek revenge,
But this imaginary thing tells me not to do so.
They tell me,
It’s going to be okay.
But then a new one comes;
Is it going to be okay?

Yes, it tells me,
It will be okay.
You just need some rest,
So go lie in bed.
So I go to bed,
And another question comes,
Will it be okay?
It comes back once more,
And it says to me,
Don’t worry about a thing.
Okay, I say in my head.
I close my eyes,
Fall asleep,
And this thing goes away.

A graceful piano playing its tune,
Sad, lonely songs that make you upset?
Or joyful music that makes you want to dance.

A beautiful song comes to a play,
Does it make you think of this ugly world?
Or does it make you love the Earth.

It can be interpreted in many ways,
It can make you feel calm,
Or it can make you real stressed.

It can make you smile, giggle, and even laugh,
But it can also get you down.
It can make you feel loved,
It can make you feel alone.

A beautful piano,
Playing its tune,
But really,
What does it mean to you?

There are many types of the color blue,
Light blue, dark blue, and even indigo.
It can show the mood of sad,
Or it can show the color of happy.

Blue, a shade of happiness or a shade of depression?
An ocean with fish swimming calmly,
Or fish dying in the sea?
Why does the color have to be so mean?

Light Blue, a shade of welcoming and hope,
The light blue sky, on a perfect day,
Or a light blue sky covered with gas?
What does the color blue show?

The color blue, shows between the good and bad,
It is the neutral color,
The Angel and The Devil,
The Pros and Cons,
But most of all,
It shows the beauty of the color blue