Teenage

Infinity is forever
Forever is a large number
Forever, unlimited
By definition we can’t reach the end
Mind boggling!
Yet although we can’t finish forever
Some forevers are longer than others
Somehow
Numbers are innumerous
Add all negative numbers
It’s still innumerous
But a bigger innumerous
How is this the concept
Which is grounded in math and science
Instead of the infinite other ones
Which would make infinite more sense?!?

Rehearsing conversation
In front of a mirror
Pretty prose; plenty persuasion
Topics of talking for when I’m near her

‘Good evening ma’am,’ I say with smile
Panicking, as practice packs its bags
I vomit words all the while
My brain expels errors and lags

Charisma forgotten, conversation comes clunky
The girl grins, and eyes sparkling, she answers me
Her sentences just as awkward and clumsy
We don’t need to speak like poets to have chemistry

I love it when life is orderly,
sealed in glass,
globed in water,
filtered, a little chlorine.
Roots checked. In pencil
drawn out thin reaching out to cold, curling back to cold.
Light that was gentle interrogates harsh,
warm soil stripped sterile,
secrets scattered.
Hands fidget with death:
out of order. Discarded to plastic.
Goodbye green limp
decay from the white word

The time flies by as the lockdown rolls in,
we’ve all done it before so surely we can do it again,
Coronavirus has changed more deadly than before,
And the key workers are stressed, tired but not ignored,
The days are suddenly night as we all work so hard,
As even the dogs avoid people in the parks,
The children can’t play,
An the teens can’t mix,
But we have all done our part and that’s what makes us smart,
Coronavirus will be beaten know matter how hard ,
Because we will all work together to defeat this even though it is so large .

I am sad, hurt, angry mad and disappointed
But you know what
I will put on a smile and move on even if it hurts on the inside
but I know that I will survive because one day
they will notice my pain
and not my smile

A decade on Earth I clock
My exquisite pimple-free face
Mixture of brown -light skin
Genesis of womanly-shaping body

I tell you today
not to fear the clothes shadow that forms scary monsters
Short or medium-tall
I tell you
do not run from friends
because in five years time
you’ll be irritated by people

I tell you today
Don’t stand with your legs out
because in five years time
You’ll be embarrassed
I tell you
Don’t smile too much
People would mistake you for a friend

Ten year old self
I wish I could go back to being you
But now it’s too late
I am irritated by people
I’m embarrassed
I don’t have friends
I am extremely lonely on the inside

I mustn’t forget
But if I were you again
I would slowly drink water
and avoid careless breaking of tooth
But now I’m womanly-shaped and attractive
but my charm ends with a grin or smile
A letter to my ten year old self

I stand by the sea today
My eyes filled with tears of adequate imagery and nature’s artistic skills
Water, I could behold you in my little eyes

Bending, feeling the coolness of this water
drives me back to all lost memories
Drinking this water, even with a scoop in my hand
refreshes my soul and gives me assuring safety

Water, what bad can it ever do?
I was so pleased, I needed to feel this water all over
My feet now sink into this water
Refreshing sensation

My body now was in this water
How good this felt
I felt relieved of all weight
Oh water!

But now I am losing my mind
The water is dragging me off
Its hand grabbed me so tight

Soon my breath was fading
I thought water as all
The drinking, the feelings
Water wasn’t so good

Water, the good/bad

Who are we, but our opinions?
Ideas we carry around,
Rooted in our identities,
As irreversibly as flesh
Thus we prevent it from uprooting
Validate our beliefs,
Gently nurture the roots to grow deeper
And frown upon the acids of opposition
Which threaten to poison the identity
And send one into despair

Perhaps this dependence
Upon opinions for our identities
Is a fragile, dangerous one
For what if the opinions themselves
Are rooted in incorrect facts?
We shall always defend our identities,
No matter the circumstance,
And if opinions are ingrained in identities?
We cling on to them,
Making the consequence of opinions
Based upon unreal facts
Very, very real

Opinions are more like I-Phones than roots
You throw them away when you find a better one

Apocalypse constantly creeps near
Perishing planets aren’t surprising anymore
As all news numbs the mind to fear
I’m not even worried what the world has in store

Calm washes over now,
Reading through horrors of history
We know not what the future will endow
But nor did the past peasants; our ancestry!

We have never faced these particular threats before
The world warms, warning one of its wastes and wants
But unprecedented threats? For them we have experience galore
Can’t let them get the best of me; the apocalypse’s taunts

I refuse to wring my hands and sweat about oncoming doom
But I refuse to resent those that passionately preach the public
Of these unprecedented threats which loom
For without them, we would have never escaped unprecedented pickles

this room is small
like my world is now small
caged inside a wall
that separates us all
wishing we could touch hands

life feels like porridge these days
but not the creamy exciting kind
the kind that tastes like walls.