Teenage

windy
wind is blowing
a breeze will do no harm
I feel the wind blowing through me
lovely

Within the heart’s chambers, a symphony plays
A melody of life, in many different ways
Each note a chord of joy or pain
A soulful tune echoing through the brain

The music swells with memories old and new
A harmony of life, running true
The rhythm dances with the beat of the heart
As every note plays a vital part

The bass strings vibrate with every emotion
While the soprano notes sing with devotion
Together they create a sound so pure
Something that will forever endure

The symphony of the soul plays on
A wondrous journey, from dusk till dawn
An orchestra that never fades away
A melody that will continue to play

I’m on my bedroom floor
I’m gasping for breath
Mum look at me now I’m a broken-down wreck

I wipe away my tears
You’re pleading on your knees
What went wrong through the years
Baby please

Mumma open your eyes
I was dying inside
Now I’m done asking why

You fell apart
As I took control
You broke my heart
And I filled the hole

You come back around with your “I’m sorry” “It’s okay”
Now that I’m finally found I don’t wanna be part of this game that you play

Mumma wake up
I was breaking down
Where were you mum
Nowhere to be found

Better late than never you used to say
But forever felt like a lifetime for the price I had to pay

Can’t be alone
Can’t have sharps
Look what you’ve done
I’m drowning in the dark

Mumma open your eyes
I can barely hold on
I can’t save us this time
we’re too far gone

I thought as time went on
I’d forgive you
But it seems I was wrong

You look like yourself
But you’re someone else
I don’t know you anymore

Now you’re just a memory
A tape I often replay
Mumma I do miss you
I hope we meet again one day.

to look back on all the laughter,
how can it not seem bittersweet?
when we met last summer,
and your shimmering hazel eyes met mine from across the room,
I could have stayed there in that moment all my life.
messaging all day and night,
hours of calls,
meeting up and being so in love.
I wonder late at night,
when did the love turn to sadness?
when did the happiness turn to guilt?
your name lighting up my phone once again
but I’m no longer excited.
all the pictures of us in my phone,
but more importantly
engraved in the bottom of my heart in blood red,
I was so happy with you.
I wonder what made me feel like that then,
and I wonder why I don’t feel like that now.
if I could still love you,
I would take you out,
smile as we message,
call you on Christmas Eve full of holiday happiness,
spend as much time as possible with you.
but I can’t love you.
I don’t love you, and I’m sorry.
the memories come in flashbacks,
shattering my heart again and again,
but I know I was happy then,
although I think I’ve forgotten how to be now.
I’m sorry that this had to be the end of us.

the trees blew in the harsh wind

each calendar, you’ll find Halloween pinned

baskets filled of fruit and veg

blasted corn mazes will keep you on edge

drinking hot soup

careful, your pumpkins may hide a dupe

trick or treating, kids love the
occasion

animals prepare for hibernation

Leaves turn from green to red to brown

Now the sun fades, you mustn’t frown

‘Tis not yet the season to sit by the hearth and lounge

On Hallow’s Eve, children shall roam the streets and scrounge

Ghosts seem to wander around the town,

Meanwhile all the children are in their dressing gowns

a face like a porcelain doll,

yet so small.

Designer cakes, they’re there if you’re awake
from Mad Hatter to treats in batter
Closes at 12am
candles on the door
super things in store
petrol lies ajar,
daily press, on express
Rachel has diamonds in the cupboard
behind the candy box where she locks the country out
at the centre count;
only one single star.
It just would not budge,
you must pay the expense
until the bitter taste you bought for the sake
of a fiver-
try another size?
that’s the underhand business price.

The sky is grey

July is well underway

The grass soft to the touch

The wind blows lightly

I am at peace

Birdsong all around

An escape from reality

A world of chaos

Constantly changing

Evolving

I lay

In the natural world’s embrace

But despite the nature all around

The distant sounds of man’s creations are forever present

For the modern world is always here

Forever looming over nature

Even as I stare at nature’s beauty

The sound of cars stays forever present

As nature fades

To the background

It swept a storm of contempt
Falsehood and cowardice were a façade,
The time had come when she ought to afflict
A wound upon those unaffected.
They were the dazzling stars
And she was the loathed cloud.
But she had lost all reason
As black had crept into her heart.

Dickinson
So hard
working and determined
So soft
gentle and kind
So fast
he always wins the race
We always have him in mind

The waking sky
a glassy cerulean sea adorned
by wisps
of perfect white with splashes
of dancing pink flashes,
the cherry blossoms of spring
Shift over; no lives
lost but
new purpose found in a tired mother-to-be
new life whispered into a tiny heart
like a blooming mum in a dewy, fresh field

I delivered his golden soul last night,
Like Hermes of Olympia
He’s a premature rainbow, a fighter
She held her singing gift close,
safe until
I took him to the LNU.
The next rotation’ll send them home
preened and gift-wrapped

I can leave now. No?

My pager blares ‘LNU. 2222’
Then it was cold. Dark.
My talaria urge
me to his side.
Compressions.

1…
I’m losing him.

2…
O God

3…
ECG flatlined

But I push on
in vain with
hope.
That he’d cry, scream, thrash about.
Hope stained by bitter silence.

I want to cry, scream, thrash about but
no. Compose yourself.
I must repossess her little rainbow, take
that small chorus back
to Olympia.

Have you
crushed
a mother’s spirit
with an unwavering voice?
Told her that her little fighter now resides
among wisps of white? And hoped
that she’d cry, scream, thrash about.
Hope stained by bitter silence.

I guide her weary feet
to bed. And stay,
by her side
Wordless.
Till a new chorus, birdsong, chimed.

A hoarse ‘Thank you for trying. I would’ve –
joined him, but
your solace saved me.’

I can leave now. But this shift
is never fully
over