The day after you pass
is the day your phone stays on the charger
Your bed is still a mess
Your room is still messy
Your cat is still around
Your best friends are still sad
You still roam around as a ghost
Your brother still wonders where you went
Your sister still calls your phone
just to hear your voicemail
After you take your life it will be like this
and mom just cares about getting justice for you
My parents didn’t teach me love.
I learned it from the silence.
My mother never asked why my eyes were red.
My father only noticed me when I made a mistake.
I learned to hug myself when no one else did,
to whisper to myself, “It’s okay.”
I learned to be quiet when the house was too loud,
and wipe my own tears when their words cut too deep.
I held my own hand when the world felt too heavy.
I taught myself to survive in a house
that never felt like home.
I survived —
but at what cost?
It’s been a ride
But I’ll be fine
On this slick road
Where I’ll hit each side
Many times
But don’t worry
I’ll be fine
You have made this life worth it
You are my best friend
The one who never left
Even when I did
Thank you for this
I will see you on the other side of this ride
Although this road is slick
I have stability that is thick
You can ride with me
But it will have wrong turns and crashes
But one day we will get there
I have one destination
Home
It will be right on this slick road
And we will hit sides
Now all I have to say is bye bye
I carried the weight of the hate
but that still didn’t matter
And I was just a pawn to taunt
to my own father
So I played dumb until I was numb
to let you get away with it
but that still didn’t matter
And the sins from the pins that
were holding me together that
you laid down have snapped
and I am 50% of the women I hate
and that now matters?
But it’s too late.
Darkness falls
As the sun sets
The clouds cover the moon
As the world dims
In that darkness
There is a light
A light that shines the way
To a brighter tomorrow
Ask yourself this
When it’s only you and your thoughts
“Am I the light?”
“Or am I the dark?”