Teenage

There was an ignition in your eyes,
A blend of blaze driven by a background of bronze,
Yet time’s nonchalance pours down its own waterfall
And you dwindled into nothingness;
Your eyes are dispassionate, dark, flooded with dismay.

Your smile was contagious, a wildfire
That enkindled elation within,
That then watered itself down with tears,
Tears that seep through the corners of your lips;
Your smile remains absent, hiding away.

There is a beat in your heart,
Rivulets of blood pump freely, it starts
Taking you back to the moments you’d grin from cheek to cheek
And the times your eyes weren’t as weak
You’re still alive, your soul is here to stay.

A formation of ones features to show pleasure, admiration and happiness. It’s something we all do really without thinking too much about it. As a little girl I’ve been told to say “cheese”, “show your teeth”, “be happy”. Happy. That’s what a smile means to us – happiness. A simple smile to show our happiness. But for me my smile is tsunami and of sadness which rises my inner lips up to my dark red cheeks that bleed out with insecurities made to fit others so that they may smile. This sadness is so much greater, so much deeper than happiness alone could ever be. Sadness is a complex emotion it can be shown through tears, through the stillness in silence and through just a simple smile.
Sadness allows us to connect with all our emotions, it’s the gateway for a surreal feeling. Sadness allows us to be happy.
My sadness is my happiness too. In between the tear drops from my eye to my check I fall into a tranquil refuge from the world’s harsh expectations which are a constant lullaby in my ears. Soothing like my mother’s touch yet price my insides into a thousand pieces. Blaring like a siren screaming to be gone. But all the same I love my sadness because without it I would never know what it feels like to be happy. I felt true sadness for the first time when I loved.
Loved so deeply, loved so hard, loved so determinedly
But despite all this I wasn’t loved back. But in that sadness, that very beautiful sadness, my happiness shone so bright and was so much greater, so much stronger because I saw them smile. Their beautiful smile that was engulfed by dimples that plunged so deeply into their face just like the self- hate that pierces into my skin when I see someone else who has everything. I want everything I desire, it’s everything I neeed for me to smile with them again for one last time.
I reminisce on our memories. Our happy memories from my sadness. They told me “forever” with a smile on their face but forever wasn’t meant for me. It was meant for someone else’s smile, someone else’s happiness, not for my sadness. I think back on how they made me smile how it glistened so brightly when I looked into there big brown eyes and how it now holds so many stories, so many feelings so many many things
But at the end of the day it’s just a simple smile. To show your happiness and my sadness.

The moon, a distant friend, followed me,
that was all I could see.
In my dreams, it housed elves and fairies,
feeding me sweet cream and cakes.
Coloured and plain.
But with a blink of my eyes, my moon friend warned,
as the sun rose, to disguise
its loyal companion; now I am
Left alone with a big, bright face.

People are lonely,
Want to be loved, want to be known
Lost myself in the process
In the end
Not myself, not others

An apple crunches, and inflames with a rash,
It deploys, and spreads its wings from the robust nest,
Skin impatient and lepidote,
It burns as it flies,
Teeth marks ride its sun sand skin and make love to its chalky plasma,
Intimate, the fruit flies rest in their womb of seeds,
An apple falls from its perch upon a frosted cloud,
It descends into compost and corrodes itself to ebony ash,
Its past is gone now, and is lost in a sea of obscurity

Breath of curving, dangerous wild,
Eyes of endless ocean,
Church spires bristling along his back,
Heart overflowing with veiled emotion.

What can he do, except watch with sorrow
As humans destroy the Earth?
Knowing that by daylight tomorrow
All there’ll be left is dead trees and broken dirt.

Frustration churns inside his mind;
He could win any battle,
Beat any fight
But he can do nothing in the Humans’ war between wrong or right.

Alone in the darkness the lilac sky glistened
Images of the moon was vividly playing in her head
She could no longer stay in bed .
To cool her light head, she had to go out to the shed
From that day on she was declared dead…

A wish for lots of birthday fun
Last until the day is done
Hoping that all your wishes come true
and your birthday cake is as sweet as you

As I open my eyes
unaware of the position
where another body lies
I am greeted with gasps of joy
so I am hugged and am lured
into the excitement like a koi.

I look to my left and I see a young boy
sleeping peacefully alone
I see his chest slowly rise
I look to my right and I see an older girl
she isn’t alone
surrounded by the people she used to love
who were crying in pain and holding her
I wonder if her chest would never rise

I am presented with a sloppy kiss
from my Aunt Joe
that girl got a kiss
but it was sodden from tears
I wonder if it was her Aunt who kissed her

The machines I have make a steady
repeating – Beep… Beep – in time to my heart
The machines she had didn’t make any noise
I wonder why her’s didn’t go in time with her heart

There is overlapping noise from every direction
Closer to me, people talk
about how grateful they are to see me again
I wonder if they talked
about how grateful they were
to have seen her one last time

Anime is such a good thing that everyone can enjoy
Nothing is better than anime
In my eyes anime is amazing
My favourite is Attack on Titan
Everyone should like anime, but it’s just people’s opinion